Loneliness in relationships - When it's normal and what you can do about it

Loneliness in relationships - When it's normal and what you can do about it

German Version - Some partners suffer from loneliness in a relationship. And this is despite the fact that they are not actually alone, that they have another person by their side. The feeling of being alone happens again and again when men or women are not sure how the other person feels about them. This insecurity often arises when partners rarely see each other. Read on and find out what helps against being lonely despite having a partner.

Those who are not sure of each other's love in a relationship often suffer from loneliness. Here it helps if both confirm again and again that they love each other. Partners who rarely see each other and spend little time together need repeated proof of trust and faith and confidence in their future together.

Content:

- What to do about loneliness in a relationship?
- What to do when the man stonewalls?
- What is emotional closeness?
- What to do when you feel lonely?
- What are the causes of loneliness in a relationship?

Loneliness in relationships - When it's normal and what you can do about it
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Loneliness in relationships and marriage - When it is normal and what you can do about it

Many people know the feeling of loneliness. Even when they are in a relationship. The feeling of loneliness arises independently of being alone or of other situations. It often comes out of the blue and has a lot to do with your own condition and emotional state. You can even feel very lonely when you are surrounded by a crowd of people. A particularly intense situation of being alone often exists after a separation. Then it is very difficult for those affected to cope without the support of another person.

Loneliness in relationships - When it's normal and what you can do about it

What does loneliness feel like? For some people it is an inner emptiness or the fear of plummeting downwards in free flight. What a person feels about this varies from person to person. This feeling has many faces and is often associated with the impression of pain and threat. Some men and women even consciously choose moments of solitude in order to find themselves and not be subject to other influences. Liberated in this way, clearer thoughts can be grasped.

The feeling of loneliness even in a relationship or partnership is nothing unusual, as long as it passes again. It becomes problematic when it becomes a frustrating or agonising permanent state and puts a strain on your body and mind as well as your soul. Many people seek help from marriage or couples counselling because they feel very lonely in their marriage or relationship. Even when they are living with their great love or in a stable partnership or in a happy marriage. All this is no guarantee against loneliness. Many people find the feeling of being alone very stressful.

Loneliness in relationship despite togetherness with a loving partner

The feeling of loneliness even in relationship is nothing unusual as it affects many people from time to time. It has something to do with the desire for closeness and companionship. Even in happy partnerships, it is not always possible for both partners to feel close to the other. It is part of life as a couple that sometimes there is a feeling of distance or isolation. Even if both know each other very well and have been together for a long time, they remain two independent personalities.

via GIPHY

The perception of both partners of different life situations does not always have to be the same. In addition, there may be melancholy and melancholy when it comes to saying goodbye to children who are now grown up or to a job that has been held for years. Feeling lonely does not mean being ill. Therefore, your relationship or your partner cannot always be the cure for it.

People long for relationships so that they no longer have to go through life alone. That is legitimate and understandable. Especially when first getting to know a new relationship, the feeling of being one with the new partner is often very strong. Neither can or wants to be without the other. Both are too blissful to spend as much time together as possible. The loneliness felt before seems to be blown away. Husband and wife now feel inseparable and want to share everything in life. There seems to be no end in sight.

Just like in lonely moments. The feeling of being alone seems never-ending. But usually the sensation subsides and life goes on as normal. In a relationship or marriage that has already existed for a long time, loneliness may be more frequent. And then this emotion contradicts the desire for harmony and happiness in one's own relationship. Satisfaction in a partnership depends decisively on good communication and active togetherness.

Loneliness in relationships - When it's normal and what you can do about it

Maintain liveliness and joint activities in your relationship. In this way you will experience less inner emptiness, less loneliness and resignation. Feelings of anxiety often arise when people lose the joy of living, no longer see a way out of their situation. Encourage each other and give each other encouragement when one of you is feeling bad and lonely. 

Contacting a marriage or couples counsellor can be the first step out of the feeling of loneliness. Couples therapists are often confronted with this issue in marriage or relationship and help to find out the reasons for the feeling of being alone. They also give crucial advice on how to get out of the dilemma. Often it is small changes or new possibilities that make it possible to take a different direction.

Loneliness in relationships and marriage: Possible reasons and causes

There are always couples who, in the course of their life together, go more and more their own ways. Actually, both partners wanted to follow their life path together. But then both face challenges that led to two people living apart. Suddenly they no longer live with each other but only side by side. Although everyday life works, shared happiness has fallen by the wayside. Both experience themselves more as individuals than as people in a relationship. Loneliness can spread in a relationship.

Loneliness in relationships - When it's normal and what you can do about it
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The love between the two partners may still be there. However, neither gives the other any conscious togetherness. Contact seems to take place only in everyday routines. There are no more moments of surprise, each feels they know the other too well to discover anything new about them. Yet it is new joint activities or undertakings that allow you to discover new sides of even a partner you have known for a long time. Start again to take time for special moments together.

Share your feelings and thoughts and give each other special attention again. The feeling of togetherness between the two of you will grow. The feeling of loneliness will then hardly have any place. You will be amazed at how much this can enrich your relationship. Read also the article "How to recognise an unhappy relationship - take action at the first signs".

The feelings that prevailed at the beginning of your relationship can reawaken. You rediscover the person you fell in love with and who became your great love. In these special moments you are reminded of how valuable your husband or wife is to you. Give each other the gift of appreciation for each other again and again. In this way there is closeness and trust. You feel less alone. Loneliness in relationship often arises when there is no or little communication between the two. The individual then has to make important decisions alone and feels sad about it.

Loneliness in relationships - When it's normal and what you can do about it

Loneliness in a relationship: When the partner is unfaithful

People in relationships wish to be number one for their own husband or wife. Only then is there a real sense of belonging and security. If one of the two is unfaithful, it puts a great strain on the other. A happy union cannot develop if loyalty is lacking. An affair or a fling creates jealousy. Infidelity destroys trust and the self-esteem of the betrayed person is destroyed. Honesty is an important basis for the success of partnership and marriage. If it is not present, quarrels and relationship crises arise. Unfaithful life partners create fear and loneliness in the other person.
 

Many couples seek marriage or couples counselling because one of the partners has become unfaithful. Then the trust in each other must be repaired. This can be achieved by both partners confronting and questioning the situation. Confronting one's own behaviour means honestly describing the motivation for it. Can the betrayed person forgive the unfaithful partner? If yes, then it is now a matter of giving love and the relationship a second chance. This takes time and the willingness to leave old paths and build new common ground. Many an attempt to save marriage and partnership fails. Read also the article "Save the unhappy relationship or leave? How to make the right decision

Loneliness in a relationship: When the long-distance relationship becomes a burden

Couples in long-distance relationships often suffer from loneliness. Separation scenarios with constant goodbyes occur again and again. Both partners have to cope with their own everyday life independently of each other and cannot stand by each other. Telephone calls or other means of communication do not replace the closeness and presence of one's own husband or wife. The desire for intimacy and tenderness usually falls by the wayside. There are only a few moments or times when both can take each other in their arms and be close to each other.

Loneliness in relationships - When it's normal and what you can do about it

Loneliness often occurs in long-distance relationships when one of the partners has the impression of infidelity on the part of the other. The great distance between the two people gnaws away at mutual trust. Many are no longer sure of the relationship status. They often do not know what their status is with the other. Problems arise when one of the two has the impression that the other does not suffer as much from the long-distance relationship as he does. The freedom may come in handy for him.

Loneliness in long-distance relationships arises when there is too little affirmation of the partners for each other. The belief in a common future and the confidence in common happiness are the basis. And couples maintain this if they communicate a lot with each other and express love and affection for each other again and again. It's about strengthening the sense of belonging. In a long-distance relationship, it is very important to keep promises and to build trust again and again. You can read more about this topic in the article "Long-distance relationship - How to cope with the distance in love and become happy".

Foto: Die sexuelle Anziehung und ihre Anzeichen

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When separation and divorce bring loneliness

Separation and divorce are always associated with feelings of loss. The resulting grief and pain often lead to deep loneliness. Some people hope that a separation will finally make them feel better about life. Even in such cases, the separated person then feels even more lonely and abandoned than before in a broken relationship. Depression is often the result because the changes were assessed differently and are now unmanageable. Divorce turns the entire life plan upside down and makes it absurd. This overwhelms those affected. They seem to be in a shambles and have completely lost their bearings.

It is then especially important to get help from competent therapists or psychologists to process the injuries and cope with the new loneliness. The pain of separation can be coped with in this way. It is also about getting out of one's own victim role and getting one's own life back under control. It is important to overcome feelings of shame and guilt and not to question one's own ability to have a relationship. Read more about this topic in the article "How to overcome self-blame and guilt".

It is very painful for those affected to bury the love of their ex-partner. The hope for a common future and relationship is lost. It is hardly surprising when loneliness sets in. In such situations, you feel especially the transience of life. Perhaps you feel that everything you have experienced is meaningless. Your efforts in your relationship seem to have been in vain. Comfort yourself with the thought that even loneliness will pass. And then you have the opportunity to find new ways and chances for yourself and your life. Dare to change and believe that everything will be all right.

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